 Thundering
out of the Ohio Valley come the indelibly hard rockin’ ‘The
New Fag MotherFuckers [sic]’. At least John®
(whose favorite color is green and pet hate
is “stupid people”) thundered out of the Ohio Valley.
The New Fag MotherFuckers are:  |
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Searing & fearful
junkoid leader John ‘Broken Hand’ Morton® playing blistering
& terrifying lead guitar. In the lurid year of 1972 whilst dwelling
in the nihilist anti-biospheric abyss of Cleveland, Ohio, John® gifted
the world by forming the electric eels
followed in 1978 by ‘X blank X,’ and ‘Johnny & the Dicks,’
and followed followed by a lot of beer and old granddad bonded/heroin/very
reluctant sobriety . . . and in 1996,
‘Amoeba (raft boy)’. And he really does hate 'stupid
people.' |
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Christian ‘Party City’
Brown playing: vocal stylings. It is Mr. Brown who puts the ‘Fag’
in ‘The New Fag MotherFuckers [sic].’ Mr. Brown’s singing
career commenced when he sang impromptu at a basement soiree. He (Mr. Brown)
is late of Amoeba
(raft boy) and might like Tom Waits. |
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Switch Napolitano (sorry girls! He’s already
married!!) on swashbuckling guitar ( . . . ok he plays guitar leads too)
nee of ‘Barbie Complex’ ,’Vitamin Semen’, &
‘Black Jesus Death Threat’: Switch (prefers Michael) is a down
to earth guy who stridently posits that Travolta in ‘Grease’
was extremely credible. He walks on the beach at night. |
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| Panty Fish on Bottom. Currently & simultaneously
appearing in the unspeakably way-fantabulous ‘KarWreck.’
Panty is the only person in the Fag MotherFuckers that does not have
a nick name. Unactive (as the band has broken up) member: ‘Mozart’s
Grave.’ |
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‘Sweet Albino Red’ Ross: Drumbo.
Albino is also currently seeing the bands ‘Mimi Ferocious’ and
‘Gladshot’ & played he on the Lilith Tour with the band,
‘Jabber.’ He likes carrots,. Albino deems the mature Travolta
tops especially in ‘Michael’ and ‘Battlefield Earth.’ |
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| Gideon ‘Scrambles2’ Klein: That’s
right . . . . Calvin’s little bro, Gideon, is playing motherfucking
strumpering rhythm guitar in the MotherFuckers. Just a ‘motherfuckers’
thanx[nks] to brother Calvin for stopping by practice with beautiful
new briefs for the entire band!! Remember, we couldn’t
say the stuff (about Calvin Klein being Scrambles2’s brother)
if it wasn’t true. We’d be immediately sued up the ying
yang! |
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